Devastating Release

O Lord, I’ve battled for so long to hold onto and keep all of my defenses and walls. After all, they have kept me hidden-hidden so well.

Yet all the while You saw me, that is, the real me. In the deepest parts –with all of my struggles to get out---to break-thru from all of those same defenses and walls that I so diligently built up. O, it took me so many years and so much energy. I became an expert at it. No one really knew who I was---but You, O Lord, always knew me and loved me and You patiently awaited for the time that I lost all the strength I had used to build up my own hiding places. And then they began to crumble….and I felt, too, that I was crumbing inside.

“It’s all right”, You whispered, “this is the way, walk in it. I’m right here beside you and I am moved with compassion. Now that you are ready---take My hand and walk with me thru this dark and ‘losing” place once again, so that as you lose the self that you built up, then you can place your trust in Me and all I have yet planned for the new you”.

Ah, sweet devastation, you can bring release! Who can understand it? I cannot! BUT HE CAN! The One who created me…and now and yet and still, He is creating me and redeeming me from all the darkness and the pain of the past years. The desperation will breathe forth yet another glorious birth!
By Donna Shuck